Painful and heartfelt.
Numbed and breathless.
All the strength within me is being withdrawn.

I wished 1 day soon i could post something happy over here.
That i could move on.
But i couldnt help having that hogging force pulling me back and the presence of some resistance halting me forward.
I could neither move forward or backward.
I stood on the spot for this long.
I wonder when the dynamics will shift.

To date.
I felt horrible.
I need to apologize to those that i have hurt.
Those specific ones.
For my selfishness.

Will you forgive me?
I noe 我这一辈子都不会忘记你也不能放下你。
I don't know if im just lost or i am totally not ready.
我知道我已经很难被宽恕了。