Paint My Love

I'm finding my way back to sanity again, though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there. Take a breath and hold on tight, spin around one more time and gracefully fall back to the arms of grace.. I am hanging on every word you say and even if you don't want to speak tonight, That's alright, alright with me. Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing, is where I want to be. .

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Back to shift after a good 1 week bdae break.. keke :)
It's weird that when you are not at it, you'll miss operations.
The excitement, the sense of achievement and control over your show, the stress/ability to have the stamina to keep up your good show for 8 straight hours.
I do love my job although when you have a lousy shift i swear you'll curse like nobody's biz.
That's why everyone whom works here only hopes that the day will be 平安顺利. :)
Nothing else matters more than to go through rate/productivity enquiries esp if you dunno what went wrong/it's destined to go wrong but no one wld accept that kind of explanation &/or to encounter suay incidents.
Argh.

Today was teamed with JT and Jimmy.
It was a fun shift.. ops itself wasnt exactly fun per se.. but the team mocked and laughed at each other.
Esp after JT got a mosquito bite on his face..
We could make jokes out of one another.. and the both of them when at 'loggerheads' would fight over asking me to LD the other.

Some loots~ recently hehe..
As you grow, the things across your entire self.. be it wants or needs is so much of a hell lot.
Consumerism totally overwhelmed.
There is always something made on the list to get. :p
Just that sometimes, rationale /mood of the day would pull you back to check on what's left to meeting ends meet till payday. :p

I wanna learn piano again.
I hope i can at least try some dance.
I also wanna take up Jap!
Lately i have been thinking.. how do we grow wisdom?
It's tricky and difficult.
You cant wise overnight.
You cant just read some books and decided you r knowledgeable enough tmr.
I am still figuring.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

有一千,一万个对不起想对你说。
伤你的简直毁了你。
以为你了解`以为你懂。
我已经没什么好说的。
因为所有的错都在于我。
就算原谅也不能得到任何宽恕。
你的大量已经忍人所不能忍。
欠你的实在太多。

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Painful and heartfelt.
Numbed and breathless.
All the strength within me is being withdrawn.

I wished 1 day soon i could post something happy over here.
That i could move on.
But i couldnt help having that hogging force pulling me back and the presence of some resistance halting me forward.
I could neither move forward or backward.
I stood on the spot for this long.
I wonder when the dynamics will shift.

To date.
I felt horrible.
I need to apologize to those that i have hurt.
Those specific ones.
For my selfishness.

Will you forgive me?
I noe 我这一辈子都不会忘记你也不能放下你。
I don't know if im just lost or i am totally not ready.
我知道我已经很难被宽恕了。

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Tsk.. just did another swapping of operator incident.
是硬着头皮做的. :(
Cant remember when was the last time i did that since these 2 incidents.
Most likely a yr ago when i was a newbie.
Honestly, the feeling sucks.
But on the other hand, i hope the one who was being asked to go up and replace someone else felt that he is finally recognised and was chosen with the confidence to sail the vessel at a high rate with the preference over others.
:)
加油喔!

Cant wait to finish up this week.. seems like there is gg to be a lot of fun stuff coming along.

Of coz, would like to thank my gal for traveling down to visit me, cook for me and be there for me.
I noe that is so not bin lor.
Precisely that's why im super touched!
Hope everything pulls through for you too!
Since the decision is made, you can only wish for your close ones to understand and push through with what you ought to do while you are still young.
:)
I totally admire your courage.
*muacks*

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

躲起来。
不要听。
面壁思过。

惩罚。
来临了。
原来之前只是台风到来前的平静。

伤。
好呆。
对一些人的抱歉。

闭上眼。
不知所措。
不可能释怀`不可能被赦。

不想醒来。
没人能懂。
越来越无法控制。

第一次有那么一点坚定的告诉自己是时候了。